Walk softly, and Carry Plenty of Kleenex: Expatriates in Beijing Set a New Agenda for President Barack Obama during his Upcoming Visit to China

(BEIJING, November 15, 2009) - While political pundits across the globe make their forecasts on the outcome of President Barack Obama’s visit to China, Blue Ocean Network (BON), a 24-hour English TV channel, wonders if the Chinese authorities will artificially manipulate the weather to ensure sunny skies for the Commander-in-Chief. BON host Roseann Lake hits the pavement and asks Expats in Beijing for the answer to one question: What advice do you have for President Barack Obama on his upcoming trip to China?

Advice offered includes “traveling around town on an electric bike as a symbol of his commitment to green energy,” and repaying the 800 million dollars in loans currently owed to China by beating Yao Ming in a little one-on-one. Other highlights of the proposed agenda include joining President Hu Jintao in a late-night karaoke session, a popular form of entertainment in China, where through a dazzling rendition of “Billie Jean,” they develop a plan to resolve the global economic crisis.

Although some Chinese critics of the American President remain skeptical of his “rock-star style of governance,” most agree that they’d like to see the more of him, but remain divided on whether or not he should give a speech at Peking University, or simply take off his shirt. “It would be nice if he could show some of his muscles,” said one starry-eyed Chinese woman who added that “showing he is strong” will boost his popularity ratings in China. Other suggestions for fueling his semi-celebrity status in China include, eating local Beijing street foods, such as the widely celebrated chou dofu, or ‘stinky tofu,’ and participating in the classic Beijing pastime of “swimming in a semi-toxic lake while wearing the requisite ‘man panty’ swimsuit.”

Americans living in the capital say they would be impressed if the president showed his consideration for curbing government spending by “haggling hard at the markets when purchasing souvenirs for his wife and daughters.” They also kindly warned the president to avoid massage parlors with a very inviting pink light, so as to prevent against any snafus of a Clinton nature. During his visit, expatriates also suggested the president “try to find out how Chinese politicians all seem to miraculously keep their hair from going gray,” a trademark of American presidents that has plagued them since they stopped wearing wigs.

On this visit of tremendous political importance, American expatriates living in Beijing concluded by expressing their final words of wisdom for their president on his maiden visit to China:

“Walk softly and carry lots of Kleenex -- the public bathrooms rarely have toilet paper, and things can get messy.”

Parts I and II of this special edition of Easy China will air Friday and Saturday, November 13th and 14th at 8pm on BON TV [New York Time Warner Channel 92, New York Verizon Fios 466 and New York 48.2 DT].